mollymocked | IC CONTACT; un: mollymauk

Don't be weird about it.

[See, she says this, but it's a very weird thing she's asking.]

The first month we arrived, I asked Caleb if he was... meeting people. You know, since we have to be here with all these other people whose worlds got splatted, he should be making friends. And he...

[She thinks back on the conversation and presses her lips together over her teeth, taking a deep breath through her nose.]

Well, okay. I'll cut to the chase. The point is, I need you to help me figure out how to plan a blind date. Or several. Several blind dates.

Oh, I'm gonna be as weird about it as I deem necessary.

[And slowly Molly's glee vanishes as all the fun and joy gets sucked out of the room. Were this Fjord, perhaps he'd get a kick out of it. Fjord's a borderline virginal dumbass and it's funny to watch him squirm. He's got some shit, but he's arguably one of the more put together of their group by Molly's estimate. At best, he'd just be embarrassed.

But Caleb? That sounds like a nightmare. It sounds like a heart attack. Hell, it sounds mean, even if he knows this is coming from a place of caring.] I realize you can be very blind to Caleb's... let's say less appealing qualities... But I don't think it takes a brilliant mind to suss out that man doesn't even love himself. He needs a lot of work emotionally before he dips his toe into casual flings.

[Nott is probably less experienced than even Fjord in the realm of romance, and she immediately doesn't get what the trouble is. She has desperation in her expression when Molly doesn't take to the idea right away.]

I know he doesn't love himself! That's the problem! He's not letting himself get attached to anyone because he's...

[Well, now's not the time to air Caleb's dirty laundry.]

He needs to spread his wings. Relearn how people work. That's all. I thought you'd want to help me!

I do! Trust me, I do. But there is a fine, fine line between intimacy and.... intimacy. [It's very hard to explain to someone who has definitely not had a tiny bit of sex ever in her life, if he were to take a guess at it. Moving on.] You have to start small. The poor boy kissed me so he didn't have to swap wine with some strange woman, so I can't imagine what blind dating would be like for him.

[First of all, Caleb is older than you, Molly. Second of all, sure just drop that all casual.]

[Nott could continue arguing her point. She could insist that she's not exactly trying to get Caleb laid, certainly not.

But then Molly drops that bombshell and she's left staring in shock at him, mouth agape like a gasping fish. A deep sea fish, but fishlike nonetheless.]

He did what? He kissed you?

[WHEN WAS CALEB GOING TO TELL HER??]

To be fair, calling it a kiss is giving it way more credit that it deserves.

[Well, it wasn't like Caleb spat wine straight into his mouth. It was a kiss from someone who has likely kissed a person before, but Molly is far from stupid. It didn't mean anything, and he's not gonna pretend it did.]

It was a distraction, at best.

[Nott, bless her zero wisdom heart, is already too distracted to pay attention to Molly's logic. She wasn't there, wasn't a part of it, and so she doesn't have his frame of reference on whether it meant anything or not.

Instead, she starts pacing back and forth in the room, deep in thought.]

This whole time... It was right in front of me...

[She whirls in place, holding a finger up and facing Molly with determination.]

Mollymauk! I need you to ask Caleb on a date!

[Molly just stares blankly at her. How did this happen to him? How is she this daft?

After a second or two of realizing she is that daft and there's no explaining that away, he laughs, incredulously.]

You're adorable. I am not doing that.

[Nott's face falls.]

Why not!!! If you tell me you don't find him attractive I'll know you're lying. He's extremely handsome and talented.

[Nott's known about The Kiss That Wasn't for .5 seconds and already she's prepared to write an essay on why Molly should date Caleb.]

I can convince him to take a bath if that's the issue.

Yes, I find him attractive! [That's also a non-issue. The Mighty Nein are shaggable, and he doesn't care if they're aware. Unless someone is gonna do something about it, he doesn't see it as important.] But I find lots of people attractive! It doesn't mean I think it's a good idea to date them. And I have literally never had a problem with his... dirt and whatever. That's not a problem. The problem is that it's been hard enough getting him to trust and tolerate me, and I feel casual flirting might set us back a bit.

[Because look at him, Nott. He has no charisma mod, but he's loud and ostentatious and off-putting. He is not the ringer when you need someone to charm a person unless he's literally using Charm Person.]

Edited 2018-11-08 06:25 (UTC)

Yes, well, maybe if you were less shifty it'd be easier to get us to trust you.

[Grumble grumble. Speaking of, guess who's still holding a grudge over that exact charm spell.]

Anyway, that's not important because it doesn't make sense. You said he kissed you! How could it set you back if both of you like each other already??

[Spoken like someone who simultaneously understands Caleb the most and also has no fucking clue what her boy needs.]

It was part of that bloody wine-sharing tradition that you clearly skipped out on. I was the lesser of two evils.

[Molly drags his hands down his face.] Have you talked to him about this? Not specifically about that, just... in general. I feel like this is something he should weigh in on.

[Nott's face... definitely changes at the mention of the wine sharing. It looks more contemplative than anything. She doesn't make any move to address her part in his retelling of events; yes, she was avoiding the hell out of that, but they don't need to get into that right now.]

The... wine-sharing. I should've watched him more closely.

[She picks at the bandages on her fingers.]

Not about the... blind dates. Or him dating at all. I asked him if he found anyone he liked, and he just sort of... dodged the question. But this isn't even really about dating, it's more about meeting people!

Caleb's a bit dodgy, to be fair. [Well, at least she's off the dating topic, at least.] And you've finally said something I can actually get behind. A healthy social life'll be good for the boy. He needs to get out of his shell a bit. I do my best, but I'm only one person.

Yes! Which is why the blind date plan is genius.

[Nott mistakenly takes this as an indication that he approves of her plan. Someone stop her.]

And if it's already proven he's willing to engage with these things if it's someone he's familiar with, then you should be the first blind date! Obviously.

[And we're back.]

If the idea is just to get him to meet new people, then maybe you shouldn't call it a "date." That's just gonna make him anxious. And if the idea is to get him to meet new people, having me be the first is a little counterproductive.

[He sucks in a breath. Okay. Compromise.] How about this. To make him more comfortable with the idea of socializing, I will bring him out with another person on a friendly jaunt. That way if he doesn't get along with them or if he gets all... Caleb about it, I'll be there as a buffer. Is that workable?

[Nott contemplates the new plan for a moment, but then visibly brightens. She actually likes this plan.]

Okay. Okay, that could work!

[And this way she won't even have to watch from the shadows! She could get the whole play-by-play from Molly.]

Uh... So, the thing is, I had this great idea, of course, but I... kind of didn't have any ideas for who to set him up with. Probably someone really friendly, right? For the first one?

[So Juno's out for now. The lady's a lot of things but one thing he's not is friendly.]

[And Ren is practically Molly's shadow. He doesn't mind inflicting that much chaos on Juno, but he's a little more protective of Caleb... If only because he feels he's the only one who has earned the right to pick at him in that specific way.

...But he's not the only one who does pick at him and gets away with it.] I have an idea. Do we know anyone who is even a little bit like Jester? We know he enjoys her company despite her being his exact opposite.

[Nott pauses to think through all the people she's met. Many of them have gone back to sleep, but the only one that comes to mind as someone similar to Jester is...]

...Yohane? I think she told me she hasn't met him yet. She's sort of... Jester-ish.

[At least in terms of her high energy, yeah.]

And I have told her she ought to talk to him. They could discuss... magic things. And the girl could use someone to... gently correct some of those assumptions she has about things.

[Caleb is Zemnian. Nothing about Zemnians is gentle. But Caleb's also too fucking awkward to be actively mean to a cheerful kid. And does it occur to Molly that it might be weird for two adults to hang out with a teenage girl?

Nah.]

Yes! She's trying to learn magic, anyway. This would be good for both of them!

[Nott probably has the most sense about it being weird between the two of them, but... she was a few steps off of forcing Caleb on a blind date with a stranger, she can't afford to be choosy.]

There we are! A little teamwork and we get a flawless solution that doesn't make Caleb sulk at us.

He might still sulk at us. He's very good at that.

But you'll have to tell me how it goes, then... And you should tell Yohane, so she doesn't know that it's my idea.

[Yohane has about as much subtlety as Nott does.]

He is. I didn't know sulking was a talent, but he's really mastered it. [He gives her a pat on the back.] Don't worry. If anyone asks, it was my idea. I've already done this to Juno. Might as well make it a thing.

[She nods.]

Good. ...Thank you, Mollymauk.

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mollymocked - 2018-11-12 22:14 (UTC) - Expand